Monday, December 28, 2009

quick thought

So lately I have found myself thinking, to myself, a lot while using a urinal in public places....

by the way, this one is really just for the guys!

Anyway...when you are standing in front of a urinal do you aim for the drain or do you aim for the back of the urinal? this question has always haunted me...when you aim for the drain, most of the time there is a deodorizer block and you have piss flying all over you! Sometimes it even has a colored bar in the bottom and you have piss in all different colors flying at you! So, after a few times of that, you decide to aim at the back of the urinal...but then you have pee coming straight back at you! I swear there is no "right way" to pee into a urinal! So what I'm asking from you guys is what is the "right way" or which way have you found the least amount of splatter effect? All thoughts are appreciated and helpful!

Thank you yet again!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

take note of this

OK, I have been a server for three different restaurants totaling about 6-7 years of experience. Now I cannot speak for everyone, but this is just somethings that go through my head when I am at work and what everyone should know!

...the next time you're out eating at a restaurant, look at your server. Do you think they are really happy to be doing that job? The answer is usually no, they are not, but it's what they do, and they do it for the money so please help them out. It's a tougher job than you think and you should pay them accordingly! There are SO many people out there flooding the restaurants w/o any knowledge of how to behave or tip. Here is a short guide for the general public to follow. Feel free to print out and store in your wallet and/or purse:

1. CHILDREN: If you have children, DO NOT let them, open and dump anything on the table (ie; salt, sugar, etc). IF YOU DO, you must leave an extra $5 for the server to cleanup YOUR CHILD'S mess & to restock the now unusable wasted items. We are neither their babysitter nor their parent. The least you can do is pay us for the extra work. Also, make sure you control your kids and don't let them scream or run around the restaurant. It's very distracting not to mention dangerous if they get ran over by a server with hot food in their hands. It also makes it hard for the server to hear your order accurately while your child is banging their toys off the table and screaming at the top of their lungs!

2. THE "CAMPERS": If you feel the necessity to stay for longer than 15 minutes after you pay, its an extra $3 every 30 minutes. We make our money from the tables. If you are at one of our tables and we can't seat it, we don't make money. It's that simple!

3. THE "VERBAL TIP": Telling a server they are the BEST server they've ever had is NOT a tip. If we are good, let us know by leaving us more money. We can't pay our bills on compliments. Its not that we don't appreciate the praise, its just that if you say that and then leave a shitty tip it's an insult. If we were the best, then why the $2.15 tip? Show us were the best!

4. TIPPING: It's not 1960. 18% is the MINIMUM amount of what you should be tipping your servers. I'll break it down for you....just look at the amount before tax is added and multiple it by 18%, theres your minimum tip! It's pretty basic math skills and really only takes a few seconds to do in your head. If you need a calculator, bust out your phone and do it! I mean for gods sake they even have tip cards to carry around in your wallet...its not a hard concept to grasp! Remember, our companies pay us minimum wage ($2.13) ****** IMPORTANT****** Don't forget that some of your tip has to even go to the busers and/or bartenders that night. So if your meal is $100 and you leave $10 (which is only 10% people) and we tip out $4-5 to the busser and bartender, that leaves us with $5. It seems small but it all adds up. How many times do you eat out per week and do or don't do this? THINK ABOUT IT! And on a side note, if you really care about your server, leave them cash! Cash is the way to go, especially because at the end of the night we "technically" don't have to claim it...since most restaurants are ran by computer systems these days, any credit card tips are registered and therefor we have to claim at the end of the night! Just something else for you to chew on...

5. THE COMPLAINERS: If you get a discount because your food was prepared wrong or you just feel like being an asshole, don't take it out of our tip. We didn't cook your food. The cooks get paid hourly regardless if the food sucks or not. However, we only make what you leave us.

6. THE LATE ONES: If you come into the restaurant 10 minutes before closing or any time near closing...hurry up and order your food and get the hell out. No better yet....don't come in AT ALL. I'd rather not have the extra $5 you're going to leave on your $60 check (What % is that? Yep 8.5%...good job, your learning although that tip still sucks). Thanks anyway... Closed means closed, not social hour. What no one seems to realize is that if customers are there, we are there no matter how late they stay. If your going to come in right before we close then don't be "that table" and stay an hour after were closed...if you plan on doing this then we recommend 24 hour establishments such as Denny's, McDonald's, etc. if you wish to sit into the wee hours of the night.

7. THE GREET: When we come up to the table to greet you and we ask how you are doing please let us know. If you are in a bad mood we want to know that we are going to have to deal with your attitude the entire time. A confused stare or complete silence does not suffice as a reply to "How are you guys doing tonight?". Also, stop interrupting our greeting and say "Coke", "Can we get some chips?", or "What are your specials?" I absolutely hate that! I'm walking up to your table with a huge smile on my face and ready to serve you to fullest and before I can ask how your doing, you tell me, "We need 3 cokes and a water with lemon!" Normally that just sends your server into pissed off mode, and you don't want that, trust me! And also...please please please there is no need for life stories...we aren't telling you ours are we?

8. CELL PHONES: Seriously! Get off your phone...This is probably the rudest thing to do. If you must be on your cell, at least keep your voice down in respect for other customers and your guests even. If you are on your cell phone when we walk up to greet your table we will walk away and not return until you get off your phone. All we ask is MAYBE two minutes of your time. So get off your phone. If you want to be rude to the guest with you, by all means, go right ahead. Another thing, is it that hard if we do by chance walk up to your table and didn't notice you were on the phone, so we might as well ask you what you want to drink and you ignore us like were not even there, sometimes even moving away from us and putting the finger in your ear like we are bothering your phone call! Give me a break, all you have to do is take it away from your face for two seconds and say one damn word, "Coke".

9. THE IMPATIENT ONES: Ahh yes...if a server comes to bring out your drinks and she/he is juggling about 5 things don't ask "Can we get some more chips and salsa???". Do you not see their hands are full, does it look like you are going to get some more at that moment. Clearly you will get chips, but unless the server can magically make them appear, your question is ridiculous. Some people at your table might want their drink first, so that's what I'm bringing at the moment. We don't forget about you, trust me we want to do our best...we will bring everything as soon as we can!

10. THE ONES WHO RUN YOUR ASS OFF: If a server comes to your table and asks "is there anything else I can get for you?" I want you to tell me everything you need. Don't ask for one item, have me go and get it and on returning ask me for something else...and then keep doing it. Think of EVERYTHING you will need to make you happy and tell me ALL AT ONE TIME. We do have brains and can remember things...and last time we checked you aren't the only people in the restaurant. We have other tables that need us, and can't spend all night running back and forth. If you verbally tell me "I can see that we are just running you to death." Then obviously you understand this and should tip accordingly. Tipping under the minimum after running my ass off, especially when you have realized you are doing so, is a smack in the face. Next time I will let you do without.

11. SELF-SEATING: Once again...it is not 1960, and most restaurants are not on a "seat yourself" policy. Don't just assume that the area near the bar is a place where you can sit yourself down wherever you want. There is actually a reason hosts put you where they do. Hosts try to rotate tables, ensuring that each server gets the same amount of tables, and also so that servers do not get three tables all at once. This helps guarantee you get the best service possible. Therefore don't ask to sit somewhere else once a host has brought you to a certain table either....RUDE. If you are unsure about the restaurant's policy and there is someone standing at the door staring at you when you walk in, you can bet that's a host and they will inform you. Waffle House is the only place it is acceptable to sit at a table still left dirty from the party seated there before...and please feel free to go there!

12. ORDER TAKING: When the server comes by to take your order, don't say that you are ready if you really aren't. We can come back, its not a problem! Be ready when you say you are. Although it may seem fun to keep your server standing at your table for endless amounts of time while you actually decide what you want, there are once again other tables and other things that need to be done. When your ready, close your menu and move it to the edge of the table, that's a GREAT sign for us servers that you are ready.

13. ASKING TO SEE THE MANAGER: If your food sucks and you ask to see the manager don't make us sound like incompetent assholes. We bust our asses to make you happy, we don't cook your food so please STOP taking it out on us! You wouldn't believe how much shit we put up with from some of the cooks in the back...trust me we are fighting for you!

14. SUNDAYS: Just don't go out on Sundays. Seriously don't. Stay home and cook your own food. Haven't you heard of football? Sunday is no different then Monday-Saturday yet people love to shaft you on Sundays, why? So do us all a favor and stay home. Especially the first week of the month, we don't want a whole $2 out of your welfare check. (Also, little bibles don't count as tips, if I go into Wal-mart and try to buy bread with a bible they'll laugh at me. And don't automatically assume that just because I work at a restaurant doesn't mean I don't go to a church, I have a bible at home, I don't need your super tiny one.)

15. GETTING JEALOUS OF A SERVER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX: We are being nice for tips, not b/c we want or are flirting with your companion. If you took a step back you would realize your server is usually being just as nice to you as your company. So don't get pissed off when I make your girl laugh at something I said or did...I mean plus, she probably does want me, get over it! =)

16. THE "WE'VE BEEN HERE TEN MINUTES..." PEOPLE: In all honesty if you're going out to eat expect to have to wait a certain amount of time for everything. If you want something quick warm up left overs in the microwave and don't even bother going out to eat. On top of all that if you are going to bitch, take a look at your watch, most likely you can't tell time. There are a few parts to your experience at a restaurant...you have the arrival, possibly waiting period, till the hostess seats you, the time where you wait for your server to greet you, the ordering process, the waiting for food time, actual eating period, and the payment process! Somewhere in those 6 steps to your meal, you will be waiting, its inevitable!

17. BEING PISSED AT THE HOSTESS: Servers are normally not up in the area where you first walk in and get signed in with the hostess so if they make you wait, or you aren't happy with the seating location, don't take it out on me! Please! See only on RARE occasions do hostess's forget about you, they don't get to leave till no one else is left in the lobby, so why in the hell would they forget about you? FURTHERMORE the way to get back at the hostess is not to be a dickhead to your server. It IS A SIN to tip the server less because you are pissed at the hostess. WE PAY THE HOSTESS'S ya jerks!

18. IF YOU NEED SOMETHING: So you're drinks running low. I think you can go one minute until your server comes by to wait for a refill. Snapping your fingers, slurping your ice, or waving us over isn't going to make us happy. It actually just pisses us off more and could maybe make us avoid you. You think we like you, we don't. You should hear some of the shit we say about you in the back. We are your SERVER, not your SERVANT. You want to treat us like a servant, don't come in, we are people just like you! Plus, we don't want your two dollars anyway.

If you can follow those few simple steps, I can promise you that your dinning experience will be better than it ever has been! Again, don't forget we don't make our money on paychecks, we make our money from your pockets...so respect your servers and like always, we will respect you!

Thank you and happy tipping!

P.S. I know every server feels me on this! Let me know what you think...or what bothers you!

Thank you!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

learning process.

So in my young existentce of blogging I have learned that once I use spellcheck I cannot continue to add more inspiring ideas into this world. So let me finish what I started, ok? Good!

Here we go (in Heath Ledger's Joker voice):

Facebook is still the primary use to most people, like myself! But this summer this gadget called twitter knocked me off my feet and stole my heart, just like John Travolta did to Oliva Newton-John in Grease!

Twitter is just perfect the way it is...it allows you to say whatever is on your mind at any given time of the day. Although you have to keep it to a 140 text limit, it still doesnt matter! Twitter forces you to get to the point...it is perfect! Then twitter expanded to blogging which in sense is all the same thing! And now I have been introuced to blogger...

Now here I am today...just a virgin to this blogging world. I begin and then I end just as I had intended to in my first blog...Oh well, now I have two under my belt!

the beginning of something good...something VERY good

So first and foremost I would like to thank Tyler Griffey for introducing me to this wonderful world of blogging! (please stand and applaud) ...ok then, now that that's been said:

When first getting started in this amazing social networking realm, myspace was the way to go! Everyone had a myspace and everyone flipped out if they were to be or weren't in someones top 8. If you were one of the lucky chosen ones the position was even crucial to you! Over time, myspace got old and just full of spam! NEXT!

Then this thing called facebook came along and just like everyone else, I fell in love with it! Facebook is the way to go and everyone knows that! I will admit that they both try to be like one another way to often! Facebook is the best way to keep up or avoid your friends even, to each his own.